


To Flee

by dhur



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abusive Parents, Coming of Age, Escape from home, F/F, Hope vs. Despair, Living on the railroad, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-06-15 19:02:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 29
Words: 19,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15419535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dhur/pseuds/dhur
Summary: Kelsey Georgia has had it with her father demeaning her just because she is a woman. Fixing up the old car that had been trashed in a car accident, sisters Kelsey and Lily drive away from home in an attempt to escape their father's patriarchy. Along the way, they meet Nancy Elizabeth, who is a retired school teacher. As they continue fleeing, Nancy tells stories of how it once was back in the day when she had lived.





	1. Chapter 1

Kelsey Georgia moved through the perimeters of her father’s yard as she worked the lawn mower. She was determined to cover every inch of the yard before her father got home.  
If only I somehow had super-speed; then the lawn would be mowed down in no time. She circled the back and front lawn several times, making sure that every blade of grass was sliced up. When she was finally done, she surveyed what she had accomplished.  
Could’ve done a lot better, Kelsey thought. She pushed the lawn mower uphill where the garage door was waiting with its mouth open. She entered into the house. The Georgia’s home was relatively empty. Her mother was off at the baby shower taking care of little ones, while her father was at work. She pulled up the phone and tried to dial her dad.  
“Hello?” she could hear from the other end of the intercom.   
“Hey Dad, it’s me, Kelsey, your daughter in case you’ve forgotten,” she said in a very soft tone of voice. There seemed to be some kind of puffing sound as if her father was breathing really hard. Kelsey wondered if she should just set the phone down, but she held her ground and kept it to her ear.  
“Er, Kelsey, I-uh-I don’t have time for this lolly-gagging business.”  
“But Dad, I just wanted to let you know that I mowed the lawn for you and made sure that everything was in check,” she said. Her tone of voice was begging for her father to say his approval.  
“Kelsey, all I wanted you to do was take care of your little sister Lily; that’s all I wanted from you. I guess I should give you brownie points for going the extra mile.” Brownie points?! What did his father think she was—in the girl scouts or something? Ever since the BSA occurred, it had been her dream to join the boy scouts and become one of the first few female members.  
“Dad, you sound kind of strange; is everything alright?”  
“I think I may come home real late again; work is seriously taking on my toll.”  
“Ok, Dad, I understand. Just know that I still love you even though you act all disrespectful and stuff.”  
Kelsey lowered the phone from her ear and set back down on the holder.   
“GAAAAHHHH!” Lily cooed from her crib.  
“Hi Lily! Did you have a nice nap?” Kelsey asked as she picked her up.  
“Mui! Mui!” Lily cooed again. She started flapping her arms in the air.  
“Do you want to eat lunch?” Kelsey asked. Kelsey took out a bowl that had a plastic covering wrapped over it. “Steak Straginoff!” she said.   
“DAAAAAA!!!!” Lily cried, and placing some of the straginoff on a plate, she began to cut them into tiny pieces for her to eat.  
***  
Night finally fell. Kelsey tucked Lily into her crib. Taking the home phone, she looked through the list of messages. Neither her father nor her mother had called her back once. Creeping down into the garage, she turned on the light to reveal the broken down car she had been working on for awhile.   
The car is a goner. I don’t see how it is ever going to be fixed, her father had said, but for Kelsey she knew that it had a chance. She opened the front of the car and used her wrench to work out the fuel lines. Maybe if she did this well enough, she could become an engineer of some sort.  
She opened the loose flap close to the wheels of the front bumper. She began looking through the tool kit for something that could potentially tighten the front bumper. She let in a nail and screwed it in with a screw driver. It was only a matter of time before her parents were going to sell this car away. The nail fit in; while the front bumper was still a little bit loose, at least it was not separated from the interior of the car.  
Kelsey quickly shut the lights off and ran inside. Running upstairs to her room, she concealed herself beneath the covers.  
The door opened and closed. She could hear a female sigh, indicating that her mother had arrived home. She closed her eyes as her mother entered into the room. Her mother kissed her on the forehead, and just as she was preparing to leave, Kelsey opened the a single eye.  
I know you try your best, she thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelsey and Lily endure through the hardship of their life when Kelsey has to take Lily to school.

Kelsey looked through the hallways of the school. There was a point of hesitation with her considering she wasn’t sure if Mrs. Lucy was really going to accept Lily inside of the classroom.  
Mrs. Lucy was already giving the lecture as Kelsey entered into the classroom. While Mrs. Lucy did make a sideways glance towards her, she continued speaking as if it was in mutual understanding.  
“Awwww, is that your baby sister?” her friend Mckenzie asked her.  
“Shhh, can’t talk to you now,” Kelsey said. She set Lily down on the floor while she took out her notebook. When her parents had left for work, they had forgotten to take care of their youngest and assign a babysitter. Kelsey decided to take matters into her own hands and bring her to school  
Mom and Dad are gonna kill me for this—especially Dad! She thought. Even though she tried her best to pay attention, she couldn’t help but think about Dad. It was a combination of rage and concern. She hadn’t even noticed whether or not her father had walked into the house. Either he walked in late and left early, or he never came back at all.  
***  
“Oooh, can I see your baby sister?” Kayla, another friend of Kelsey, asked in the cafeteria.  
“Thah, thah, boi (burp!)” Kayla burst out in laughter.  
“Oh, I’m already starting to think she is cute! What’s her name again?”  
“Lily,” Kelsey said.  
“Oh, that is such a cute name. Fits her well!” Kelsey smiled at the compliment. School was one of the safe havens that she had.  
“God, I hope Mrs. Lucy wasn’t pissed about you bringing her in,” Kayla said.  
“It’s fine. I think Mrs. Lucy understands what I am going through.”  
“You think?”  
“Yeah, I see it in her eyes,” Kelsey said. Kelsey helped Lily eat her mac and cheese.  
“You’re gonna have to hurry it up, Lily-boo. I only have thirty minutes for lunch.” But Lily was struggling to finish all her mac and cheese. Finally Kelsey gave Lily the option to take her mac and cheese with her while she walked down the halls.  
“Oopsy!” Lily cried as she dropped her mac and cheese on the floor. Kelsey sighed as she used a napkin to clean up the mess.   
“Mommy dah-dah-dah,” Lily said. She started biting her fingers, which Kelsey took as a sign she was still hungry. Well, I can’t have her eat the cafeteria food. Even that stuff is pukey in my regards, Kelsey thought.   
***  
It was DEAR time for Mrs. Lucy’s homeroom. As Kelsey read her book, she watched as Lily fell right to sleep.  
“You’re tired, baby,” Kelsey said.   
“Well, I guess she’s an exception. She doesn’t lose any points for falling asleep instead of reading,” Kayla said. Kelsey looked up at Mrs. Lucy, who was smiling from underneath her glasses.  
***  
Kelsey personally couldn’t believe that she had just made it through the entire day of school with Lily at her side. She looked over at the school and started to feel a little bit disappointed in the fact she had to go back home.  
She looked at her sleeping sister. A strand of Lily’s hair always covered her left eye. This was hereditary from her because Kesley had the same exact feature. She remembered how her mother had taken a picture with both of them with that strand of hair tied up in a little side ponytail.  
“You two look so alike!” her mother said.  
Thinking of those memories only served as a reminder they no longer existed. I’ve gotta fix that car, she thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an argument at the dinner table between her mother and her father, Kelsey feels more pressure to run away. Luckily the car is almost fixed.

Interestingly enough her father and her mother had come home on time.   
“Honey, I am really, really sorry about the time where I was stuck at work,” her father said. Kelsey thought about how that was the fortieth time that her father had actually bothered apologizing like that.  
They had garden salad for dinner. Kelsey could not help but keep her head low; in reality her head was darting between her father and her mother.  
“So, hon, how was work today?” her father asked. Kelsey looked a little embarrassed at this kind of approach. She slunk back into her chair as if she was deflating.  
“Ummm…it was alright.”  
“Alright? Aw, c’mon, I’m sure there must have been something that was reasonably eventful in the days that followed.” Her mother literally looked like she was quaking.   
What should I do? Kelsey thought she could hear her mother asking.  
Tell him to stop! Kelsey thought. She hoped there was some kind of transfer of power going into her mother’s head, but her mother looked just as frightened and afraid as before.  
“Sweetie, could you please forgive me?” Kelsey’s dad asked. Kelsey started shaking her hands back and forth.  
“Sweetie! Could you please for the love of God’s sake just forgive me!” the father said; this time he was a little bit exasperated. This time the mother slammed her fist on the table.  
“NOOO!!!!” she shouted. At this Lily squealed; Kelsey couldn’t tell if it was out of fear or excitement. Yeah Mom, she thought. She wished her mother acted more like this.  
“Come on Lily. Let me help you eat your mac and cheese,” Kelsey whispered, keeping her voice down as low as possible.  
“You do not tell me to ‘no’ at the dinner table; you do not!” shouted Kelsey’s dad.  
“Yeah, well why is it that there are days where you never come home from work!” Kelsey’s mother shouted.  
“Look, I was able to come home this time.” This is getting pretty stupid, Kelsey thought. While Lily had stopped screaming, Kelsey could tell from her expression that she was distressed.   
You can tell that they are getting stressed; they think you are nothing more than just a little child that can barely understand anything, Kelsey thought. She pulled Lily up to her room.  
***  
Night creeped on the entire neighborhood, and it especially fell on top of the Gergia’s household. Kelsey continued to attach different screws and mechanics in order to fix the front bumper of the car.  
“I’ve just gotta tighten this front part,” Kelsey said as she handled a heat gun and tried to smooth out the corners. Lily merely watched in so much wonder. Despite the fact that Lily didn’t really say anything, she was still nice company. She looked at the work that she had done; the car was about ready to drive.  
She stretched out her arms and looked at Lily. “Looks like the two of us ought to be going,” she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this time, the car is ready to be taken out to action.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelsey sets off on her journey with her newly fixed car.

Kelsey opened her eyes. She realized that she had just fallen asleep while working on the car. She saw that her phone was blinking. Turning it on, she listened to her mother’s message.  
Kelsey, I am sorry but I cannot come home. I just cannot stand your father—there are times when I myself wonder why on earth did I bother marrying that man. I will be working double the hours for my own comfort. Bye.  
Kelsey sighed as she turned off the phone. Picking herself up, she blinked several times, trying to waken herself back to energy.  
She creaked open the door. Seeing no one was inside, she grabbed the keys from the cupboard table.  
***  
“Oksey-dokes, Lily! Here we are going to have the ride of our lives,” Kelsey said. She had her driver’s license inside her pocket.   
“DAAAAAAHHHH!!!” Lily squealed as Kelsey inserted the key into the engine lock. The engine burst to life. Kelsey seemed to pause for some time like she was trapped in a state of deep thought. Snap out of it, but she looked at the peeling walls of the house where she had been abused.   
“You’ll find a place,” she told herself. “We’ll find a place, won’t we Lily?”  
“Da-da-da-dah-da-da!”  
And without further due, Kelsey revved up the engine and drove off.  
***  
It felt strange being behind the wheel again. Even though Kelsey was old enough to obtain her valid driver’s license, it had only been a few times that her mother had taken her out to teach her the art of the wheel. Afterwards she had a single driving instructor that had trained her for the DMV and helped her gain her license, but after that there was nothing she had left. Considering both her parents had become obsessed with work, she had not had any real time to try out the car.  
That was until now.  
“Looks like I am getting the hang of this Lily,” Kelsey said. At least, in terms of maintaining her lane.  
“Dosh ou woo,” Lily murmured, clutching her belly. Hunger, Kelsey thought. Her eyes darted from left to right; from all she could see, there were no restaurants in sight. Lily started crying.  
“Don’t cry, Lily,” she said even though she knew there was no use in saying that. I’m sure there is something that is bound to come up eventually, she thought. Currently a red light had her stopped at the end of an intersection. Her hands gripped the steering wheel as sweat began staining the wheel.  
If you have no direction of where you are supposed to go, just drive safely, she could remember her mother saying. Kelsey gave a determined look at the road; no time to be wishy-washy.   
“Maybe a little bit of foresight could have helped me,” she said to herself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelsey struggles to make ends meet as she struggles to survive with Lily.

Kelsey took Lily down the numerous shopping lines as they wandered through the many isles of food in Food Lion.  
“So let’s see how much I have; five ten’s, a couple 100’s that I get from new year celebrations; five 10’s, wow, this really is not a whole lot,” she said. So I am going to have to use these bills wisely.  
Once in a while as they wandered through the numerous isles of food, Lily would coo and seemingly communicate with Kelsey.  
“Shah shah bah booo!” she cooed. Kelsey smiled. Maybe walking around the numerous isles was keeping the hunger out of her mind.  
“Looks like we only have enough for these things,” she said. In the car, several lunch boxes that contained sandwiches inside were sitting among them. For Lily, a box of chicken nuggets was there for her. Kelsey helped Lily eat.  
“Alright, I think we are all filled up with energy; now we are ready to go!” Kelsey said. She revved up the engine, making sure not to let a single shade of doubt fall upon her.  
***  
In the past, Kelsey had always been a little nervous of going out onto the road all by herself.   
“What if I accidentally go on the highway? Then what will I do?” she could remember asking her mother as she prepared to do her laps around the road.  
“Well, you have a sense of direction, right?” her mother would say. “You also know that most roads usually make a circle back to our neighborhood.  
“Your brain will figure things out,” she said. It was the last thing she ever told her. Now here she was in the middle of the highway. Rain began pattering down on the ground. Lily was fast asleep.  
Kelsey sucked in some air as if she was trying to do her best to relieve tension building up inside her. A small light shined in his way; it was flickering at first, but later it started to pave a way in the darkness. She drove towards it. In the distance of the splattering rain there was a motel room several stories high. She had passed by this place with her mom many times before; however, they had mostly just simply passed by it, and it wasn’t until now that Kelsey had really given it a second thought.  
That couldn’t have been the little flicker I saw, Kelsey thought to herself. Well, for now it is probably best that I rest up in this motel.  
***  
“How ya doin friend?” the man at the front desk asked.  
“Hi, do you have any spare rooms that my sister and I could have?” Kelsey asked. She carried a sleeping Lily.   
“Let’s see, yes we do as a matter of factly. Room 1845. For how many nights?”  
“Ummm…I guess one night,” Kelsey said, thinking that they had to make a move on it. Inside her head she wondered at the peculiarity of the number.  
“Alright, then, that would be $115,” the person said. Of course, Kelsey said. She dug through her wallet and managed to recover five 20 dollar bills and three five’s.  
“Thank you, enjoy your stay here.” Kelsey questioned what the man would have said if she admitted what her true intentions were; luckily they never asked


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelsey meets Nancy Elizabeth for the first time. While she and Lily try to flee, they fall into a deep sleep and are taken in by Nancy to her head quarters.

The rain continued striking against the window. Kelsey lay Lily on the bed. I guess that will be your side; the other side will be mine, she thought. I can’t tell for sure if we are safe or not. Though her father was rather notorious for just being a constipated, overrated, out-of-style loser, Kelsey could not be for sure if he would somehow figure out where they were.  
Not much has happened today; still I have the shivers running up my spine, she thought. The door creaked open. Crap. Kelsey looked at Lily. A tiny creak of light was piercing into the darkness of the room.  
I’m gonna have to fight my way through this. If it’s my dad, then I have every right to beat him down with my…fists, she thought. Still she panicked. What if she couldn’t out-muscle him? Then the door creaked open.   
“Weeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who the’ hell do we have here?!” The lights of the room turned on. Luckily they were nothing more than Christmas lights, but the hideous sight of the being in front of Kelsey caused her to squint anyway.  
She had locks of blond hair falling down her sides. Two huge ear rings hung at her sides. Her smile reached to the very ends of her cheeks. Her eyes appeared as slits.  
“Ummm, I thought room1845 was free?” Kelsey said.  
“Room 1845? Why on earth would it be free? No, I live here! They just don’t know that because it is such a strange number!” The woman walked into the room and was about to set herself on the other bed when Kelsey stopped her.  
“Awww, I didn’t even notice the little one lying here so fast asleep,” the woman said.  
“Who are you, and what are you doing here?” Kelsey asked.  
“Who am I? Why, I am the Nancy Elizabeth. I have been living here for quite awhile these days in 1845 (Man I miss those days…). It’s just that nobody sends them up here. I’m headed out to the west! Where are you headed for?”  
“Uhhh, anywhere that is far enough away from my family.”  
“Your family? Why do you have some issues or something?” Kelsey was taken aback at the question. They had just met, and all of a sudden she asks a question like that.  
“Well, it’s fine if you have issues or something; I guess you’re another woman, so I don’t have too much to worry about.” She shuddered as she thought of what she had just said.   
“You’re a complete stranger,” Kelsey said.  
“Oh, you can trust me, girl! I promise that,” Nancy said.  
“And in regards to me being a woman, well, I don’t have anything against men,” Kelsey said. “Although my dad is kind of…rough around the edges.”  
“Well, all I am saying is that they should not have paired you up with me inside of this room. I guess this room is so high up that the room attendants don’t really bother with it, or they forget that somebody is living up here,” said Nancy.  
“Alright, in that case, Lily and I are leaving,” Kelsey said, grabbing Lily, who was just beginning to wake up from her nap. “We can find a new room.”  
“Hold on! Where the hell do you think you all are goin’? Don’t you think that it would be a little bit—maybe in the slightest—necessary to have some kind of guide?”  
Kelsey paused. Her parents had always taught her not to put her fate in the hands of strangers. Still, it was true that she needed some kind of guide in the face of the unknown. On the other hand, a quote from Gandalf in Lord of the Rings started to manifest itself inside her head.  
It is up to us to decide on what to do with the time given to us.  
“Why are you all the way out here?” Kelsey asked.  
“I’m just fleeing the country like you are.”  
“Fleeing the country, huh?” Kelsey said.  
***  
The night proved to be the worst for Kelsey. She scrunched Lily close to her side.  
“We’re leaving,” she declared even though Lily was fast asleep. When she tried to pick up Lily, she started making a whimpering sound.  
“Shhh, Lily, shhhhhh,” Kelsey said. She turned to Nancy, who was snoring in her slumber. Lily kept whimpering, her voice starting to gain amplitude.  
Scaling down the elevator, exiting the apartment building, and entering into her car, she started the engine and began travelling down the road. Lily started screaming.  
“Come on,” she said to herself as tiredness started to overtake her. When she finally stopped the car, she knew she was not far enough from the apartment. Tiredness, however, had overtaken her. Not a single one of her eyelids would open. She skidded to a stop in the middle of a forest.  
The first time Kelsey regained consciousness, she remembered being dragged on the ground. A trail of blood followed her as the grass slit open her knees, making her feel rather dazed. Her arms trailed behind while her captor held her by the legs. She could recall a baby’s cry. Then everything went black.  
The next time she regained consciousness she was sitting on top of a bed. She could feel bandages placed on her cheeks; she could barely move her limbs. Above her she could see two people talking.  
“…Found her passed out inside of a red Sudan in the middle of a field off the side of the road…”  
Then the world blackened again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelsey wakes up inside of Nancy's headquarters. She has taken away Lily, and the only way that Kelsey can get Lily back is if she follows Nancy's orders.

“Where am I? What’s going on here?” Kelsey opened her eyes dazed and started to look around her surroundings.   
“Drink, darling. Drink, drink, drink,” an old man said as he washed his hands. Kelsey, though it was rather strange the way things were done here, took the cup of tea despite the fact she was very estranged with what was going on around her. Motorcycles were hanging all over her as well as hunting rifles and muskets; however, the gentleman that was right in front of her was rather calm-looking in his demeanor. A snow-white beard surrounded his mouth, and he carried what appeared to be a long staff with a bucket at the end of the tip.  
“Drink, or I will make,” he demanded, putting his staff into a ready position. Kelsey took several sips out of her glass. The tea-flavor had a sweet honey and ginger flavor that seemed to act as a cleansing factor for her.  
“Ahhh, so good,” she sighed.  
“Yes, it is very great that you are doing well after all. Now wait here while I get Nancy Elizabeth,” the man said. From the way the man walked to his overall height, Kelsey thought of him as a small dwarf.   
The dwarf walked in with Nancy.  
“So you have awakened,” Nancy said. Kelsey nodded. Maybe not all of her senses had quite come into being, but overall she was doing better. “I’m sure you are probably wondering where your sister Lily is.” That was the trigger that Kelsey needed.  
“LILY GEORGIA! Where have you taken her?!” Kelsey shouted. The dwarf grabbed her.  
“Now, calm down dear, or else I will have to give you another injection shot,” he said.  
“What!?” Kelsey cried in utter disbelief. She swung her hand away.  
“Memphis, I don’t think there will be the need for any injection shots for now,” Nancy said. “I believe it is time that we teach this gal a lesson.”  
“But, madame—“  
“DON’T MADAME ME!!! Now keep out of this!” Nancy shouted in Memphis’ direction. “I think I can take care of this myself.”  
Memphis strutted out of the room in fear while Nancy turned to Kelsey.  
“I don’t trust you; I am going to flee from this place and go discover the country for myself!” she said. Nancy simply looked at Kelsey without the faintest feeling of fear inside her.  
“I admire the face that you do not seem to be the type of person that becomes frightened easily,” Nancy said. “I must say that that is quite a start to what I want you to do.”  
“Want…me to do?” Kelsey asked. She winced her eyes a little bit. Nancy kept having that really creepy grin. “Let me out of here,” Kelsey demanded.  
“I promise that I won’t do anything that is even remotely bad,” Nancy said. Suddenly the fat, overweight woman with blond locks started to become someone that was rather fearful and frightened of. Kelsey remembered all the videos she had seen of strangers imprisoning children since they fell into a trap. However, she kept her mouth shut.


	8. Chapter 8

“So I want you to run over to the top of that hill.”  
“Run all the way over to the top of that hill?!” The two women were standing over a grassy plains field. They could see at the very distance that the skies surveyed for them, yet at the very least there was an air of mistrust that formed between them.  
“Yes, did you not hear me?” Nancy asked, cupping her left hand over her ear.  
“Ok, you don’t have to be all sarcastic with me; God,” Kelsey said. It’s because I don’t trust you, she thought.  
Nancy said nothing. She knew that she was stuck no matter what she tried. Now at least Kelsey’s perception of her had changed. Already she was treating her like a master—or maybe even a mother.  
Nancy flicked her head. Kelsey sprinted across the canopy. Her legs burst with energy. All that time of sitting inside of the confines of the car had caused her to want to free herself, or maybe it was the fact that all the panic that this trip had taken her through had given her a newfound sense of adventure.  
She climbed up to the mountain with her bare hands and feet, only to stumble as she came to the ground. She looked up to see that chinks of rock had fallen off the cliff. How would I approach this differently, she thought. She tested her footing on some of the individual rocks. Seemed sturdy enough. Lurching the rest of her feet forward, she started climbing again, this time trying to lay her hands carefully on each of the rock chinks protruding out.  
It is almost as if this mountain was formed by somebody in this fashion, she thought, looking suspiciously back at Nancy. Again one of the rock chinks fell out of place. This time Kelsey was ready and kept one hand firmly grasped so that she would not fall to the bottome again. This time panic began erupting through her. Was this some kind of trick? What was she really thinking in trying to make her do this?  
She tried conjuring up a quote that her mother would have said to her. Keep calm and carry on, her mother would have said, but as she shut her eyes, as her feet dangled in the air, it was hard to keep calm. All that appeared was the last argument that her mother and her father had gotten into during the dinner table.  
She lifted herself up and grabbed the next protruding rock. Slowly she started making her way up again. She tested each rock she placed her hand on, making sure that it would not break to her pressure. Finally she made it to the top. It wasn’t long before she could not tell how far she had come.  
Kelsey stood at the top of the mountain. The clouds seemed to float around her. The sun shined in the far off distance. She breathed the air and spread her arms out wide. It seemed like a newfound sense of freedom entered her lungs.  
“You made it to the top?!” Nancy shouted. Kelsey turned around and nodded, a smile glimmering on her face. At that moment, she didn’t care who Nancy was. She had forgotten Lily. For once, she had come into her own—become the one she truly is.  
But only for a second.  
“That’s great, now I would like you to come down from all the way up there.”  
***  
“God, what was the point of sending me all the way up there?” Kelsey asked, panting as she ran up to Nancy.  
“Well, you said you wanted to flee the country, right? You’re gonna need some kind of training,” Nancy said.  
“I don’t need training,” Kelsey replied. “Training is nothing! The will—the will is everything!”  
“Ok, I see your point,” Nancy said, giving a hard look. “Now let’s test to see how far that will goes…”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelsey continues to train with Nancy Elizabeth. As she passes through more tests and trials, she begins to become stronger.

The rest of the training sessions required that Kelsey do the same exact thing except a bag of stones were attached to her back. She tripped and fell, and sometimes the fall was harder and far worse than before. Yet not a single scream exited out of her lips, which surprised Nancy. She came back the second time, this time scratched with bruises and cuts, but not a single scream of anger came out of her mouth.  
“It seems to me that you are used to this kind of pain,” Nancy observed. Kelsey looked up at her. Thoughts of her father erupted into her head; however, she did not see the same anger she saw before.  
***  
Kelsey lay awake that night. She already had had enough of a beating the past couple of weeks. She looked around across her arm. Some of the old bandages were starting to peel off. She inhaled and exhaled several times, unsure whether fear or disruption were entering into her.  
“huff, huff, huff, huff,” went her lungs. She did not feel like breaking down the door and fleeing. She attempted to process everything that had just gone through her mind. Unfortunately not all of it was coming back. It felt like she had only known Nancy for a couple hours until she had started making her go through all these rounds of training. What was she really trying to prepare her for? Was she a tool?  
If I really am nothing but a tool, then that is a lot worse than being abused, she thought, shuddering.  
***  
“Ready to do it again?” Nancy asked as we walked outside into the very moist weather.  
“It’s starting to rain…hard,” Kelsey said.  
“You’re still doing it in the rain,” she said, handing the sack of rocks to her. Kelsey slung it onto her back and sprinted off in the mud just as she had done before. A slip in the wet soil caused her to tumble to the ground, and for once she realized just how alone she was. As the sky dropped water droplets onto the ground, so her own tears added to the moisture. Loneliness and hatred came over her being. What right did Nancy have to do this to her—someone that she still barely knew.  
Lily, she thought, and that sent her back up onto her feet. Her baby sister coursed through her blood stream as she ascended up the multiple rocks in front of her.  
Kelsey rose to the top; this time, however, her legs stung when she tried to rise. A short stumble almost caused her to fall off the rock, but she steadied herself with her hands and regained balance. The striking lightning was all the light she could see. She could have just jumped over off the cliff to end her pain, but she chose not to. Carefully she tried to descend off the cliff.   
“OOF!” she cried when one of her feet slipped and was sent tumbling to the ground.  
“Augh!” she cried as the lightning flashed. Now her groins were really taking a toll on her. She lay sprawling on the ground, struggling to get up. The rain pattered down on top of her. The rocks on her back weighed too much to the point it held back her torso, so she could not lift herself up. Get me out of here, she cried in pain.   
Then the picture of Lily came back. She remembered the responsibility that she had towards her. Come on Kelsey, she thought, but the rain was pattering too hard. The use of willpower was only able to carry her so far. She took off the sack of rocks. Her back still hurt with pain. Nancy approached her from afar; however, there was not the slightest hint of anger on her face.  
“Perhaps you are not quite ready,” she told Kelsey.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelsey and Nancy bond in the concealment of the darkness of the night

The rain had finally ceased. Nancy and Kelsey sat outside in the middle of the field. The darkness of the night began to loom overhead.  
“Warm the inner parts of yourself,” Nancy said, patting Kelsey on the back. Kelsey wrapped her arms around herself.  
At first, Kelsey wanted to ask about Lily. She wanted to know what happened to her and see if she was ok, but she held back her tongue.  
“You know I must say that I am quite impressed with the ardor you have put up today,” Nancy said, patting her on the back. Kelsey really felt the impact of the touch. Something about the flame, the night sky, the plainness of the whole environment. There was nothing but tall grass breezing in the distance. And Kelsey felt the intimacy—the closeness with Nancy.  
“I must say that you really are quite a good teacher,” Kelsey said in a tired voice. “Maybe the best that I have ever had throughout my life time.”  
“You must not know too much about teachers,” Nancy said.  
“Yeah, I have a father who believes in the patriarchy and keeps trying to put down my mom.”  
“Ahhh,” Nancy said, and her head looked up into the sky with that dreamy look of hers. Kelsey got a little bit closer, interested in what she was about to say.  
“There were times when people—just people in general—were much kinder than they are today. There was a time where the sun rose and fell, and the people would not try to strangle one another to bits and pieces.”  
***  
When Kelsey lay herself on the ground, she no longer felt like the usual Kelsey that she had once known before. She found that she could breathe much easier because her pathways had become much clearer. She stared up at the ceiling, delight going into her. At the same time, she was afraid; though she was much more in shape, how could she be sure she could keep this up?  
The mixture of emotions sent her into a deep sleep. The next morning, she felt a small lump near her stomach.  
“What? What is this?” she asked herself. Then she saw that the lump was actually a human being—Lily.  
“You seemed rather attached to your baby. I thought I might as well give her back to you. Now come on. Hurry it up,” Nancy said Compared to last night, her tone of voice was rather impersonal and did not quite resonate with her. She got herself dressed and went out.  
“I figured that you weren’t ready to go out into the world on your own,” Nancy said. “Therefore, I decided that I will accompany you in your journey afar.” She looked like a beefed-up version of Leslie Thomas, except her hair was of the dirty blond color. Maybe this was her adventure outfit, wondered Kelsey.  
“I also thought that you might need some repairs and quick fixes with the car,” she added.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelsey, Lily, and Nancy all set out on their new journey. Along the way, Nancy starts to tell Kelsey about her life, hinting towards some of the hardships she went through.

Kelsey turned around to see the sleeping form of Lily. She patted her on the head.  
“Don’t sit too tight inside your car; it may get a bit rough as we go down the latter parts of the road,” Nancy said. She thought it would be best if she be the one that drives through the forest. Kelsey sometimes wondered what her purpose really was in all this.   
“You know Nancy, I really am hungry,” Kelsey said.   
“I suppose maybe we can stop somewhere to get something,” Nancy said. We kept driving. Nothing could describe the utter monotony that I went through as we drove on the highway. I kept looking at Nancy; something about the locks in her hair made her seem beautiful. It was a form of beauty that I had never seen before. Previously she appeared as rather fat and someone that was a bit too much on the eccentric side for my tastes, but now there was something else I was starting to see in her. Maybe that was the value of doing nothing more than driving through the blankness of the road. For once she did not feel a single ounce of danger between them.  
“You know, I really am beginning to like you, Nancy,” Kelsey said. Nancy smiled, which caused Kelsey to jump backwards in her seat. She laughed.  
“Even after I stole that baby of yours,” she muttered. “I am beginning to like you too; there were many women that I loved in my life,” she added with a sigh.  
“It is good that you loved much though,” Kelsey quickly said despite the fact she was not sure if that was the right response. “In my family, that doesn’t exist.”   
“Yeah, it really is sad; love in this nation may take many forms, but there are only a few who actually put it into practice,” Nancy said.   
“So what happened to the other women in your life?” Kelsey asked.  
“My parents wouldn’t allow that kind of love in my household, so I had to keep it a big secret from them. My girlfriends didn’t like that,” she said.  
“That’s not fair; why is it that everything has to end so dreary and miserable for people like them. Why can’t they just be happy?”  
“There are examples of lesbians and queers being happy,” she said. “I have met many people who are happy in that life-style.”  
“So I guess you just sort of fell into that category…” Kelsey said, a degree of disappointment falling into my skull. “And from all the training sessions we went through, I thought that maybe you were not one to quit,” Kelsey said, my voice rising in a bit of anger.   
Kelsey wanted to do something for Nancy. She wanted to boost her confidence in the same way that Nancy had boosted hers. She looked back at Lily, who seemed to be waking up.   
“You know, these empty plains were not always empty plains, Kelsey,” Nancy said. “I used to live in these barren areas. At one point they were filled with life, teeming literally.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Kelsey helps the wandering inhabitants in a deserted city by playing a game of tag, Nancy recalls when the inhabitants had been all but unified.

The trio stopped as several people were crossing.   
“Why did we stop? It is not like a herd of people are breaching over our territory,” Kelsey said.  
“Look into their eyes; it appears as if they have been enslaved like this for a long time,” Nancy said. I turned towards the walking people. Their eyes sagged from utter boredom. I thought of myself when I had found myself bored in the middle of my room. What would I do to entertain myself?  
“Park the car,” I said. I stepped outside and, refusing to acknowledge the formal introductions, announced to them, “Hey everyone! Let’s play a game!”  
***  
“Kelsey! What are you doing? Nobody just gets out of the car and screams that!” Nancy said, but soon a bound of energy entered into the dead walking bodies. I looked over at Lily, who had been knocked out for the rest of the car ride. She seemed like she was just beginning to wake up.   
“A game! A game! Oh boy! A game!” said a man with freckles on his nose and eye-balls that bulged out of his sockets. Personally I was tempted to just turn away in utter disgust, but I didn’t/  
“Well, what in the Hawkins poppins do we have here!?” a woman said. She had hair that literally looked like tangled pieces of yarn were falling down her back. She approached the car to see the sleeping Lily.  
“It’s nothing; now, let’s get started with…tag!” she said, for that was the only outdoors game she could think of at the moment.  
***  
Everyone ran around screaming and jetting with excitement. There was no such thing as mechanical as they were doing previously. The sand kicked into the air. Kelsey sprinted with all her might as everyone else was flying and romping like children—age meant nothing to them.  
“How you would wish to remember the old days,” Nancy said quietly.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelsey and Nancy take Lily to the hospital after she is seriously weakened by heat exposure.

“Puff, puff, puff; whew! I can’t believe I made it out all the way here!” Kelsey said. She collapsed on the spot. The sun’s rays pierced through her skin. The sand melded in between her arms. It almost felt like she was sitting in the middle of the beach—except there was no water in the wasteland.  
Maybe I can just waste myself here,” Kelsey thought. She closed her eyes. Tiredness came upon her muscles. Her body fell asleep.  
Why are you thinking about doing this? A part of Kelsey asked herself, but Kelsey felt like she was done.  
Then an image of a sleeping form of Lily appeared in the middle of her mind. She could not eradicate her. Something was wrong. Very clearly something was wrong.  
She picked herself up. ”Slow down everyone! Slow down!” she cried, her hands on her knees. The people were flying everywhere. Kelsey sank down, hoping they would just quiet down.  
And eventually they did. On the ground they fell.  
“Wow, it really looks like I put them in quite a work-out,” Kelsey said. “They must have a lot of reserved energy inside of them.”  
“Yes, they have been walking like this for years on end. Perhaps there will be a time when I explain it to you some time. However, you have freed them from their state.”  
“Do you think they will ever be able to remember this day? Don’t you think there is a way that we can help them in their plight? Free them from the bondage that they have gone through?”  
“There will be a time for that,” Nancy made a quick pause as she said that. She turned to Lily, who was still lying unconscious.  
“Lily!” Kelsey cried. She placed her left hand on top of her forehead. “She is so warm.”  
“She’s overheating. We may need to get her to the hospital,” Nancy said.  
Kelsey pulled Lily aside and creaked open her mouth to pour some water inside. She was barely conscious. Kelsey could not believe that she had completely forgotten about Lily. The baby began coughing as Kelsey poured in water.  
“I’m not sure if the water is going through!”   
“Hold on! I am going to see if an ambulance can find us!” Nancy said, dialing her phone. Kelsey was at least glad Lily was still alive.  
Nancy grabbed an ice pack and placed it over Lily’s head. She began breathing and making a soft whimpering sound.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Nancy tells Kelsey of her past, Kelsey tries to help rebuild the wanderer's civilization.

“This is all my fault, all my fault,” Kelsey said, burying her head inside her hands and shaking back and forth. They were inside of the medical wing in the middle of Arizona. Lily started to gradually strengthen. Her limbs began to move slowly.  
“Don’t blame yourself,” Nancy said. She sat very still, also observing the doctors as they helped Lily. She rubbed Kelsey on the back as if she was trying to comfort her. They no longer felt like they were two different strangers sitting together. Both of them were running—fleeing from a culture that had otherwise rejected them. Here were two mothers watching over their daughter.  
I know what it is like to be you, Nancy thought.  
No, you don’t. You are just saying that as a mere comfort for me. You have no idea what it is like to run away from the wild in so much fear that it almost feels like it is crippling, Kelsey seemed to reply in her thoughts. It was almost like the two of them had a telepathic connection. Nancy smiled. The two of them were safe inside of the medical wing. Nancy looked into the mistrusting eyes of Kelsey. She breathed a deep sigh. Her warm eyes began melting the distrust.  
Oh no, I know well.  
***  
(Flashback of Nancy Elizabeth)  
“I now prevent any of you from ever returning to the land of the Danes,” the officer said as he read off of a script in the middle of the cemetary. The flowers began shining in the middle of the field. It was such a beautiful day, yet there was still so much to be done.  
“I cannot allow any of you to pass,” the officer said, but it was now or never. Nancy clutched the hand of Cyndey, her girlfriend. This was a way that they could escape. This was a way that they could find a way out.   
Clutching her hand, Nancy sped out of the cemetary. Of course, nobody could really simply speed out just like that. On the other side, she could see the people of the Danes watering their plants. However, the plants drooped to the ground, suffering a severe drought.  
“I wonder if there is ever going to be any life in the Danes ever again. Ever since they, you know…” Cyndey said.Nancy nodded.  
“It will probably be quite some time later, but come on. There is no time to waste on these miscellaneous things.” Behind Nancy were tens of thousands of other couples, all of whom the council had decided was best to deem them as unfit and undesirable.  
“What is going to happen to us now?” asked Marcee. He identified as a fem-boy, half male and half female.   
“We are going to fuck off those government officials. That is what we are going to do!” Nancy said.  
“Oh, Nancy! You are as brave as the dove that flew off Christ’s shoulder! We must worship you, Nancy!” said one individual in the crowd.  
“I know! I demonstrate so much power and perseverance!” Nancy shouted back. Deep inside, she wondered if she could really perform this task. She thought about her father. The lashes he had let loose on her back still stung even to this day.  
“Don’t you dare let me catch you crying like this in the future!” he said to her whenever she was on the ground screaming like a welp.  
This time she was not going to be brought low like this again. This time she wasn’t going to be the center of any pity-parties or anything like this. Like Moses leading the Israelites, she was determined to lead them all to safety.  
“I don’t get why they choose to treat us like this,” she said to herself. “But if they won’t allow us to do this, then it would be about time that we congregate.”  
(Present day)  
“That sounds sad,” Kelsey said. “It reminds me of one of those dystopian fiction movies that have been done to death.”  
“Well, true,” Nancy said. She paused, considering she was not sure if Kelsey was trying to change the subject or she was speculating she was lying. Then the doctor exited out the door.  
“Come on in,” the nurse said. “Your baby is just as good as new.”  
“Lily!” cried Kelsey as she went inside and hugged her.  
***  
“What about the people?” Kelsey asked as she and Nancy prepared to drive away in the car. Nancy seemed to be in deep contemplation. She wondered if it was really alright to stay for a bit longer.  
Then she saw the eyes of the people, the happy look pasted on top of each of them. The one that caught her the most was the toothy man smiling. Deep inside Nancy wanted nothing else but to just move on. She wanted to just move forward with the travelling, wherever they would end up next. Why would anyone want to bother with somebody that seemed so ugly, so bent? Nobody, she thought, but all she could really think of was her past and how much of a hypocrite she would be if she believed him to be so disdainful.  
“Very well, then, we can stay,” she said in a matter-of-factly manner.  
***  
“And this is how you make an origami bird,” Kelsey said. Everyone was inside of the tent of the inhabitants of the land. They had called themselves the Bencocks. Kelsey looked down at a drawing that an older man was making. She watched as he drew a vast pillars around the building. She saw huge pointed tiers that made up the many walls of the tower.  
“I’m sure it has been quite awhile since you have drawn like that,” she said. Kelsey looked at the man—his ribs protruded out of his skin as he moved. A pang of pity struck Kelsey.  
***  
“Leave them,” Nancy said as she watched all the people gather around with mortar and iron poles. They were preparing to rebuild their city.  
“What if they need us? What if they don’t know how to rebuild themselves?”  
“Questions, questions, you ask all these questions,” Nancy chided. “Let me ask you this: does a civilization build itself from the earth? Does an individual form when a master stands over such person? They need to learn themselves.” Kelsey could just look into the eyes of all these people. All of them seemed so weak, yet for some reason, she knew that Nancy was right. They would potentially be interfering with the order of this civilization.   
“Are you coming?” Nancy asked. Strange how quickly you could form a bond with someone, Kelsey mused as she looked at all the people. For some reason, all of them seemed so much stronger than before. Perhaps she had done enough.


	15. Chapter 15

The three of them drove in silence. Not a single word crossed each other’s lips.   
“Tha, tha, tha,” Lily said as she fingered the several rings around her waist. Kelsey kept looking at her. She felt very proud of herself for managing to take her out of the home. We’ll find somewhere that is much better for you; I promise, Kelsey thought.  
“Moi gah bah traaaaaa!!!!” Lily seemed to sing. Nancy kept having a serious look as she drove on. Kelsey turned back to staring out the front of the car as the vehicle moved on the road. Finally Kelsey spoke.  
“Could you tell me more about what happened through your ‘life journey’?” she asked.   
“I could tell some time later,” Nancy said. The tone of her voice seemed to indicate she had not interest in the subject matter right now.  
“You know I don’t believe you,” Kelsey said. “The whole story just sounds too contrived. It sounds too much like dystopian fiction somebody made up.”  
Nancy gave a bit of an irritated sound. That Kelsey. So I guess we really still aren’t at peace, she thought.  
“Well, you certainly have no reason not to believe me,” Nancy said. “You don’t know what I have gone through in my life.”  
“Yeah, true, but where do you come from? I have never heard anyone be able to congregate so many people.”  
“Well maybe that is why I am able to help you!” Nancy said. This time she raised her voice. Kelsey shut her mouth.   
“I’m-I’m sorry for questioning you,” Kelsey said. Grief and shame started to fall down upon her. For a moment she could only see the anger of Nancy Elizabeth; a part of her concluded that this woman was mad. Maybe it had something to do with the idleness of the time. Right now they were literally doing nothing but heading down a street in a four-wheeler.   
“Drop me off!” Kelsey shouted.  
“What? Has fish replaced your brain!” shouted Nancy. “I am here trying to guide you, and you demand that I drop you off?”  
“Yes, I just can’t stand living…” she didn’t have time to finish her sentence. After Nancy came to a screeching stop, Kelsey grabbed Lily.  
“Bay boo bay,” Lily said. Kelsey broke into a run as soon as she flicked-the-bird in Nancy’s face.  
She sped a couple feet and saw that the car was still there.  
“Come on, Lily. We don’t want to be influenced by people like her,” Kelsey said as she walked off, but the car was still parked there, and Lily kept looking back.  
“Gah waz warld,” Lily said pointing back. She’s a baby, Kelsey kept thinking.  
Still she stared back at Nancy, wondering how she was going to survive without her.  
“Well, quite possibly Nancy is a bit of a liar; we probably shouldn’t mess too much with her,” Kelsey said.  
They arrived at a bar. “This looks like a fine place for me to…” Kelsey began before she noticed the many men and women sitting from across the other side of the restaurant. In the due time of their gluttony, they drank and ate. Food particles smothered from their mouths. It was not quite what Kelsey would describe as a legitimate glutton as far as she was concerned. These people would devour sandwich after sandwich, yet somehow would simply remain thin.  
There was only one answer to the madness within them: tape worms.  
“Lily, you feeling ok?” Kelsey asked in a tone of voice that made it seem like she was questioning why she was asking a baby this question. Lily simply dug her face inside Kelsey’s shoulder. Kelsey could feel the shivering deep within her skin. Let’s ditch this place and head out, Kelsey thought, but she wondered if perhaps maybe she could potentially meet some people who were living among this place. Little did she know how stupid that plan really was, but how else was she going to communicate? She was trapped inside of the confines of this place.  
“Uhhhh, hi,” Kelsey began. The sluggard looked straight into her eyes. It almost appeared as if her face was squashed inward.  
“What do you think you are doing?”  
“I’m sorry about all this! I just—“  
“No, don’t you dare give me that excuse on how I should behave! You are trying to control me in how I act!” the lady said. She lifted herself up from her highest seat and prepared to rise in the midst of all her enemies.  
Suddenly a cup came shattering right in front of Kelsey. Lily squealed. Kelsey realized this was the day that she had been waiting for in such a long time. The time when she would come against her enemy in a fashion that was most suitable and powerful in the best way that she could really present herself.  
She saw that she was trapped in the middle of the whole crowd, not knowing where to go.


	16. Chapter 16

Nancy lfited herself from the pot of mud. Mud caked her entire soles of her shoes. There was something that wasn’t right. She sniffed around the surroundings of the village she was in. It was hard to believe anything was wrong at all.  
“Hello?” Nancy cried.   
“What were you thinking of taking me on this fucking stupid adventure?!’ Kelsey cried. There she was—naked, her breasts exposed to the very presence of Nancy’s eyes. In her bosom, she held a sleeping Lily. Nancy reached forward as if she wa trying to take the child; interesting how she almost thought of herself as the child’s mother.  
“Why do you stupid gals tyr so hard? I mean, just look at you!” And Nancy surveyed herself, every part of her was covered with jewelyry of al types. It was soething that perhaps it was best to leave alone throughout the passage of time. Something that perhaps she did not give much thought to   
“Kelsey…” Nancy said, her voice getting stuck inside her throat. She lurched forward, but Kelsey had her back to Nancy. Rejection formed over Nancy’s face. Something that she just could not face as she struggled to grow up.  
“Kelsey, I just wanted to say…I’m sorry.”  
“Yup, I’ve heard that shit a thousand times from my father,” she said. Her fists tightened as she contemplated about her father. Anger started to formulate over her. She wanted to just punch to mother fucker in the face.  
But there was something that was holding her back. The next thing Nancy saweyes.  
“I hate being angry. I hate being agry just as much as I hate him.” Kelsey said. Nancy was frozen with what she was hearing.  
***  
“Nancy!” The woman turned around to see Kelsey running after her.Inside her grip was Lily.  
“Nancy, I’ve gotta baby! Kelsey said. Nancy looked puzzled.  
“Come on! Rev up the car! We’ve gottta go!” Kelsey shouted. Nancy looked at the baby. Tears started to stain her eyes. The baby lay there, mud caked her inner brow. A single hari-line fell across her cheek like a fallen Patroculus being helped by the sudden updrift of a warrior.  
“Come on!” Kelsey shouted. There was nothing that could prevent her from raising her voice any longer. A tear started to stain her own cheek as well. There was her doll; abused, tortured, turned into a hunk of ash. She had been used, beaten, brwled. What was the point of keeping her? And yet, here was Kelsey, so much strength and loyalty filled inside her brow. Nancy could have sworn she thought that the woman was crazy, yet she knew there was no point in holding back in the greater residues of life.  
Nancy charged forward with Kelsey into the car. Revving up the engine, the couple zoomed off into the darkness of the night.  
***  
Carefully Kelesy dabbled a little bit of her milk into Lily’s mough. The young baby girl would not wake up.  
“I should have been there for her; I should not have let her wander out in to the darkness alone,” Kelsey said. A weight slabbed down on top of her heart. Her breath started to enter tin a panicky state. How long could she really hold this off? Was ther anything else that could really hold off the immense amount of stress increasing within her/  
The head lights zoomed into the center of the road. Stress started to mount up into all of their hearts. Nancy was a little exhausted herself. Finally she began to speak.  
“You know, you didn’t have to save her like hat,” she said. Kelsey gave her a disdainful look.  
“It may have been better if you had just allowed her to die,” Nancy said.   
“What do you mena?  
“Well, I’m just saying that it might have been for the better ; you know she would have gone to heaven if she diesd,” Nancy said. She gulped as the words spilled out of her mouth.  
“So what are you saying. You are religious or something? Christian?” Kelsey backed away from Nancy. All this time she had seen her as the most liberal and left-wing person that she had ever met; and now here she was hearing that Nancy believed in some kind of god.  
“Well, its possible. Maybe God wouldn’t have been like the people that hated us,” Nancy said. “Maybe God would not have wanted any of this to happen. Maybe this is somethngi that shouldn’t have happened in the first place.” As the words continued to fall, Nancy kept on speaking. There was a sense of bravery in the words that were coming out of her. A sense that caused her to see how much she wanted to be loeved. That maybe just maybe there was a possibility.  
“Your authenticity is amusing to me,” Kelsey said. Such a way to ruin a memorable moment. She sat in the front of the seat as the car continued to make its way across the rest of the terrain.   
***  
That night, the strangest of dreams entered into Kelsey’s brian/ It was something that she just could not quite surmount in the limited time that she had. Maybe a bit of prayer would have ben necessary in order to keep her alive. She twisted and turned; however, there was just ttoo much of a preassur inside her to really make out the images coming before her.  
“Fuck!” she exclaimed as the hilt of the axe came crashing down on top of the wood. She refrained her hand and started shaking it really wildly.  
“Nneed some heldp?” Kelsey’s father asked. Kelsey looked away from the man that had brutalized her life ever since she was really young. She saw the arms. The whitness—oh how she hated the whiteness of him. The muscles. The patriarchy. Yet there was a sfot look in his eyes. Maybe if she had paid more attention to them she would have seen them for herself.


	17. Chapter 17

“You know the darkness really makes you look a lot better than you are,” Kelsey said. She was sitting in the back of the seat, starting at Nancy with those beady blue eyes. She could have kissed her at right at that moment; however, there was nothing but restraint that could prevent her from doing that.  
“Well, I do believe that you are the best that any of us could really offer,” Nancy said, a smile forming acros her face. Those beady eyes were realy nothing more thana nobody. Something that was encasing her and protecting her from the real troubles of the darkness of the world.  
“Look, Nancy, I trust you, girl; we do not have to go through life like this.”  
“Oh, so I do sugar,” Nancy replied. How this was ever going to become a truth-loving incident Kelsey did not know. The car kept meandering through a straight path. The boxes and the carts managed to stay on task as they made their way through the great terrains of the road.  
“Well, this certainly has ben an adventure,” Nancy said, giggling as the car continued moving forward. Lily lay asleep.  
“Everything is going to be ok,” Kelsey said. Excitement was bursting through the seeams. She was finally going to have her first make-out—a make-out that would break the heart of all of her parents. She could not hold back the great desires that were hidden inside of the darkest followings of her heart.  
“Lily let out a screech,” Kelsey said. The words did not seem to have any sense of what she was saying. “I am goin to help you surpass the deep darkness inside your heart.”  
The car lurched to a stop as the car went rickety-split.  
“Da fuck!” Nancy cried. She exited out the car and looked at the flat tire in front of her.The old car seemed as if it had been split open with a rock.  
“Man, we’re in trouble!” Nancy said. Keley looked away with much disdain in the middle of her eyes.  
***  
“Are you sure that it is ok?” Kelsey asked. The trees seemed to be looming down over her like ents preparing to take her out of the ball park. Each of the individual twigs lurched forward and threatened to grab her with the greatest power of their might.  
“I’m sure I can find a way to fix it,” Nancy said. She pulled out the air pump and started to put air inside of the tower. A gust of wind caused Kelsey to shiver.  
“You know, I am really not liking these woods,” she aid. However,t he entire tone of voice came out like a frightful child not wanting to escape to hear her bed time chores. The trees seemed like they were moving.  
Nancy kept her focus on the car tire. Every single wench that went into the entirety of the project made sense to her. It was something that she was good at. Something that could allow her to supercede the many insults that had flown in her direction as she was growing up in the middle of the past.   
“Nancy,” a child seemed to ask. Nancy shook her head. A memory was exiting out of its chamber. Acceptance had always been the crucial factor to the past of her greatness. Nothing could prevent her brain from overflowing with the rawness it was about to have.  
***  
“A plus A equals B,” she could recall her student saying under the matrimony of her breath. She could not remember the time when she had plain straight jet-black hair. The dreadlocks swayed in disobedience. She could see her struggling to teach the class on how to say their Abcs.  
“A puls A does not equal B,” she corrected the young student. The boy puckered up her face and twisted it. One would have said that it looked like a Trump expression; however, Nancy had always thought of it as Ang, the last Airbender.  
“Don’t give me that face,” she told the young student. She said it in a tone of voice that almost seemed to indicate a snse of compassion towards the little one.  
It came at a time when she did not have to worry about a patriarchy rising in the horizon. It came at a time she never had to worry about the looming threat coming forward.


	18. Chapter 18

“So where are we going?” Kelsey asked. Her hair whipped back as the car ran across the street.  
“You know, I really don’t know.”  
“What’s the point of driving all the way out here if you don’t know here we are!” Kelsey cried, throwng up her hands.  
“Why don’t you ask Lily? I’m sure she may know. After all, she has the wisdom of a thre year old. Isn’t that right Lil?”  
“Gaaaaahhhhh!!!!” Lily cried. At least she was in the highest of energies.  
“Well, why don’t you turn the god damn car around?!’  
“Hey, watch your potty mougth! How many cuss words can you really produce out of there!” The conversation came to an abrupt halt when the car slammed into a wooden house.  
“Hey, we stopped!”  
“What is going on out there!”  
“Eh?”  
“I asked what is really going on out there!” Out of the creaking house came a man and his wife following ot of the trailer.  
“Why hello there!” Nancy said. Kelsey looked at her mentor. She had never seen her so formal and nice.   
“Hey,” the man said. His polo-shirt made him look like he had come from the old wild west or something like that. His poker face made it seem like he was playing a game of gim-rummy and had lost spectacularly. Really, how much worse could you get?  
“Cliché old man,” muttered Kelsey.  
On the other hand, the woman had a crooked smile. Her hair loomed so bushy that it seemed like she was trying to grow her own plant in there.  
“Please, come on in! And lend me the toddler to join us as well!”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting for those of you who were waiting to see what happens next.

“You know, it really has been quite a long day,” Nancy said as she unloaded herself. Together they were driving across the rest of the country. There was an air of discouragement in Kelsey’s hearts—like she really did not have anyone she could turn to in order to trust.  
“Want some water?” Nancy asked. Kelsey turned away. For some reason, she was starting to remind her about her mom. The wasy she was starting to wither away and weaken almost felt like it was something very pathetic to her.  
“You know I am not a power-house machine,” Nancy said as she took her turn in absorbing some of the flowing water coming into her throat. Her stance, her posture! The way she just carelessly glugged down the water reminded her of how careless and apathetic her father had been!  
Nancy gave out a belch, but Kelsey clutched the sleeping Lily close to her. This time it was not going to end in a scuffle. This time she was going to do her best nd overcome what she could with the odds stacked up against her. This time she was going to be the best woman she could possibly imagine.  
Kelsey grabbed hold of the whell.  
“Hey, what the-what the- you pathetic fruit fuck!” shouted Nancy. That was it! Now was not the time to think about all the times they had spent together. Now was not the time to imagine if there was anything good up ahead. Now was the time to zoom out of the way like a speeding horse and keep moving forward. Kelsey kicked Nancy out of the car. She could just return to her organization if she wanted to, Kelsey thought as she revved up the engine and took off in the middle of the night. When was day ever going to begin?  
The duo had traversed quite a few miles over the past severalweeks. Progress had ben made over the months. Kelsey’s hair blew in the wind. She considered shaving it off; however, there was nothing to really cut off its significance. She found a sharp rock by the side of the road and started making her way to the rest of the hair. Slowly strands began to come off her head. This gave her a rather earnest sense of satisfaction as if finally she was beginning to gain control of herself. Finally there was no authority figure that was there to boss her around or bully her over the next several weeks.  
“How lon…” she could wonder. The world spun around her.  
“Gahh, gahh,” Lily squealed. Kelsey looked down at her baby sister. She nestled her sister into her face.   
“I’m sorry baby,” she said. “I really do wish that things turned out a lot better than they did.” She stared over the over-arching cillf. A feeling of loss overcame her. Nowhere in her thought-provoking years had she ever felt lonlier in the time that she was alive.  
It was like she flet a form of emptiness that was not really ther. Usually people would try to entertain themselves in order to keep themselves busy; however, for Kelsey, there was really nothing she could do. She had no phone with her, for that was in the car on the other side of the cliff. She also did not hve anything to take pictures with. Everything was just a form of emptiness.  
***  
An owl hooted in the middle of the night. Lily shivered in the middle of the night. Kelsey knelt down and bundled her up in her bosom. She loved her baby sster with the best of any lover that she could come with. There was nothing that she could have lost without her. She kissed her sister on her cheek, then she herself starteddescending down into a mad sleep as she did so.  
A creek in her brain started to form. A picture began running through her mind. An entire set of elephants started stampeding where I slept. I woke with a start and grabbed my sleeping sister. Onlu that she would not wake. Up.  
I fled over to the next place, panic continuing to setlle inside. Why couldn’t I just get a single moment of repose? Why did everything feel like it was literaly building itself up against me? I fled over to the next house. I hid waiting for the elephants to pass over my house.   
I woke up with a start. I looked down at my sister. Still alive, good. I scooted myself towards the egd of my cliff. It was going to be a long and nasty night as I waited here waiting for the next outcome to come. I thought that this was going to be the worst. Crickets chirped like a symphony was going on in the middle of the night. The world fell into a state of disquiet. I lowered my head again.  
***


	20. Chapter 20

“Couldn’t wait later I guess?” Kelsey said as a surprised Lily turned around. Picking up her little sister, she smacked her with a kiss before proceeding into the opening of the pathway. The forest was filled with new wonders that neither of them could possibly imagine. Lily tightened herself close to Kelsey as if she was shivering from some form of cold that was springing into her system.  
Kelsey took a deep breath. Now was not the time to contemplate over what she wanted to do. Now was the time to strive forward into the darkness of the night. The world was descending into a realm of pitch black. There was only so much that the two girls could do.  
But as Kelsey started to descend into the darkness of the wilderness. She no longer felt like someon that was capable of the same sins that she had committed before. She now felt different. A little bit more on the mature side. A rising amount of fear and treacherous knowledge had grown inside her. She felt thankful for the face that she had the opportunity to run away from her father. She was free from the patriarchial rule.  
“Hullo?” she could hear from the side of the forest, but perhaps her focuse was too centered on what was in front of her rather than the surroundings that were about her. Lily still clinging onto Kelsey’s shirt, Kelsey barged into the forest with the amount of vigor that she had previously felt inside her sinew.  
***  
The forests gloomed down in front of her. Ominous eyes seemed to be trekking her every bit of movement. Shit, she thought. How the hell am I ever going to get out of this? She did not know the answer to such stupid and petrifying questions. All that she had was what she could muster up inside of her sinew that did not involve puking or rubbing people up against the wrong way.   
“Fuck,” she said beneath her breath as an owl started to descend in front of her. There was a moment of relief that built up inside. She was going to go into the wilderness of the night and experience what she love best in the greatest of the world. There was nothing that felt more freeing than to wander in the midst of the darkness.  
“Hullo?!” she could just vaguely hear in the midst of the forest grounds, but she was way too absorbed inside of her thoughts to even pay any attention to the voice. She decided that it was best to not annoy what may potentially be susceptible to danger. She crawled through the rest of the forest floor; the canopy was springing with all kinds of life that she clearly was not aware of when she had first entered onto the plains of the field. The sins of her bosom would not show clearly. They were concealed by the baby in front of her bosom.   
There was a citadel up ahead. It looked like something ancient. Again Kelsey walked forward, hoping to find the shelter that she wanted. She hoped that she would be able to find the greatest of discoveries in the meanest way possible.   
***  
Sometimes she wondered if the reason other people did not like her was because there were too many boys. Maybe they thought there was a bit of gender misplacement. She did not care how many boys there were that existed on the plains of the earth. Really, all she wanted was a friend she could trust.  
But the patriarchail God would not such to be a reality. Or at least she thought he was patriarchical. She wondered about some of her other friends who ere Christians. Was there something she misunderstood?  
“Was there a God up in the sky?” I really do not know, she thought. As she gazed up in the night sky, the stars twinkled down upon her. What are stars? They are celestial beings that rain upon the darkness of the night, her science teacher would say.  
“Or who really gives a fuck,” thought Kelsey. A second thought emerged from her that she was truly very tired of all this crap that was going on inside of her. When was all this going to end? The only indicator was a nobody.  
“Oroo,” Lily cooed. Kelsey turned around to see her baby sister looking at her. There was a degree of fondness that emerged inside of her. This was going to be the greatest adventure she was never going to forget.  
“Hooray!” Kelsey cried. That was going to be her battle cry from now on. She was going to go onto the battle field a shout hooray every time she came across a patriarchial item.  
“Hooray!” she shouted to the tree. The tree simply looked at her.  
“What,” the tree seemed to return to her. Kelsey had already run into the deepest darkest caves. Lily was filled with laughter as she watched her baby sister run like an insane monster. What the fuck was she really trying to accomplish? There was only so much in the world that could really be described in the mind of insanity.  
“Hooray!” Kelsey shouted to the river. The river seemed to return a gaze that looked rather confused and perplexed by what it had just seen. What the fuck? The river asked. What the fuckety fuck?   
“Shut up you slut!” shouted Kelsey to the river. The river looked at her in confusion.  
“Did I do something to you?” the river asked. Kelsey had already bounded away.  
Lily in the meanwhile was having such a blast at what was happening. Oh my fucking god, Kelsey was finally freeing herself. Oh my fucking god, what the fuck is happening?  
“Kelsey, what are you doing?” the meadow seemed to be asking. But Kelsey had already sprawled herself on he ground in the grass.  
Then a cry sounded in the middle of her shenanigans.  
“AAHHH!!!”  
“Sorry, Lily!” Kelsey said, lifting herself from her insanity. God! She had almost squashed the poor baby when she was playing in the middle of the grass. She got up and rocked back and forth while cradling herself.


	21. Chapter 21

The rain receded out of the sky. Kelsey lifted her face to see another girl approaching her.  
“Hiiii,” the other girl said. Kelsey stared at her as if she was something else of an alien race. She had blond-brunette hair. She had one of her hands on her hips, and her eyes reflected a very deep stare as if they were penetrating into Kelsey’s eyes.  
“Hey,” Kelsey replied. It had taken awhile for her to truly regain her consciousness.   
“Elisa,” the girl said. She extended her hand. Oh how cheesy, Kelsey thought. Are you asking me out or something? But for the first time in her life after such a long time, Kelsey felt the warmth come back to her. She was tired of running away for a very long time, and was more than happy to finally lift herself up. She grabbed her hand and got up from the ground.  
“Been quite a long day for you,” Elisa said as she helped wipe off some of the debris that was on Kelsey’s clothes. Kelsey had not been touched for quite a long time.  
“Yeah, it sure has,” Kelsey said, all out of breath.  
“My father really will get pretty mad if they found out I discovered you here.”  
“They?” Elisa nodded.   
“Yeah, I have two dad’s. However, I like to call them unit one or unit two.”  
“Oh, well, that is quite interesting,” Kelsey said. She coughed a little bit. Then she turned her face around as she heard a whimpered cough on her back.  
“Oh, Lily! Thank God you are ok!” Elisa nodded her head.   
“At least she is ok,” she said. Yes, it was a very awkward conversation, but at least it was a form of conversation.  
***  
The thought of having two dad’s blew Kelsey’s mind. Sure, she considered herself to be open-minded. Sure, she thought of herself as a very strong liberal, left-wing democrat, but she could not quite stomach the fact that her new friend had two parents of the same gender.  
Where were you born? What was the real reason you ended up with them? Kelsey had so many questions spinning in her head, but she thought it would be rather inappropriate to speak of such questions. Instead she merely strayed near the surface.  
“So, where you from?” Elisa asked. There was a fairly thick southern accent in her voice. Kelsey’s eyes widened as she watched Elisa climb up a tall oak tree.  
“What are you doing?”  
“Up here is my home,” Elisa said, narrowing her eyes in confusion. “I just asked you a question. Where are you from?”  
“Oh, I am from…” Kelsey paused in her speech. Her mind could not recall where she had actually come from.   
“Actually I don’t know,” she said. Elisa pulled back her head and laughed.  
“Really, you cannot remember where you are from?” Elisa asked. She shook her head as if she was in utter disgust at what she had just heard. “Well, I hope someday you are able to find that sense of self.”  
“Sense of self. It is all about the senses. But what do you really mean by that?” Kelsey asked, but Elisa had already made her way far up the trunk of the tree, way too far up to actually see where she actually was.  
In an act of desperation, Kelsey climbed the tree higher and higher. Her bare feet struck against the surface of the bark, creating blisters on her feet. She screeched as she started to ascend up the latter. What am I doing? Her feet asked. We are becoming monkeys, replied her hands.


	22. Chapter 22

She ascended up the tree. It felt like there was literally nothing that could possibly stop her as she climbed up the full extent of the tree height.  
“Meet my family!” Eisa said as she hopped down to one of the branches. Kelsey was shocked to see that Elisa was stark naked. Around her she could see numerous other apes around her. Most of them looked with puzzled eyes as they contemplated over the creature that Kelsey was. One of them even approached Kelsey and tried to figure out what kind of creature she was.  
“She looks like Elisa…” most of them seemed to be saying., while there were others that just hung their heads and seemed rather puzzled over what was happening.  
“Look! I think she is going to make a wonderful rendition to the rest of the tribe!” Elisa said. Kelsey could actually appreciate the vast amount of joy that was in Elisa’s voice. For once it actually felt good to be inside a place that actually felt a little bit more accepting and neutral towards the actual status quo of others.  
Elisa leaped across one of the trees. “Ay! Ay! Ay!” she cried as she ran around the other branches and leaped from one end to the next. Her legs were like lightning. She traversed across the forest floor as if she was made of nothing more than the simple feathers of the bird of the air. Several hawks were flying overhead. Leaping up, Elisa grabbed the tail feathers of one of the hawks. The bird squaked and struggled to stay afloat while Elisa wrestled with the bird. Seeming to try to bring it down.  
“No,” Lily said, burying her face inside Kelsey’s bosom. Kelsey could only watch in shock as the bird started to collapse from the sheer weight that the bird was hanging on with. Collapsing and tumbling forward, the bird started spiraling down to the ground before Kelsey managed to catch it with both her hands.  
Elisa gave Kelsey a look, almost seeming to ask, “Why’d you do that?” Kelsey shrugged her shoulders. She allowed the bird to sag down underneath her weight as if a sudden change had come upon her. She was not sure how this was ever going to work out in the long run of things. Elisa looked up into the heavens. Kelsey could have sworn that it appeared that she was giving some form of grace; however, Kelsey bent down and watched as Elisa started biting through the bird.  
“Whaaaa!” Kelsey seemed to say in utter shock. Elisa looked up with tufts of feather inside her mouth from where she had been munching.   
“It’s nothing!” Elisa said. “It is just something that is very natural to me!” Kelsey nodded.


	23. Chapter 23

“So here are my two dad’s,” Elisa said. Approaching from the side of the hut, Kelsey peeked inside to see an older gorilla looking figure seated high up in the chair. Kelsey turned her head to see another ape-looking man seated in the other chair.  
“Legend has it that I was taken by a little girl and sent to live among two males,” Elisa said. There was a glimmer inside her eyes, like there was something she was trying to comprehend in the long run of these things. Often she would find that there would be so many confusing things happenignj at once that it was very hard to follow what was going on. Kelsey knelt down and started to listen anyway. Much interest had crossed her gaze.  
“And honestly the rest of the tale really starts to get kind of fuzzy from here on out,” Elisa said, rubbing her left hand with her back. “I guess there really is no point in wasting so much time on a stupid myth.” Kelsey looked at the ape men. A warm smile appeared across her face. She could tell this was going to be something good. The ape men returned her gze. There was something inside their eyes that made her feel welcome here. That it was a welcome environment that helped her overcome the real distraught she faced inside her life.   
**  
The night sky poured down with rain. Kelsey sat in the corner of the branch. She cradled Lily inside her bosom. On the other hand, the baby wuld not stop crying. Kelsey tried turning her body this way and that, but no matter which way she tried to jostle her body, she could not quite get the baby to quiet down.  
One of the gorillas, in a maternal sort of way, went over and tried cradling the little baby. At first, Kelsey shrank back, creating distance between her and the gorilla; however, after seeing that there was a source of genuiness in the desire of the other gorilla, she chose to approach it and hand Lily over to her. The gorilla’s fur met the baby’s soft head. Together they created a harmony that provided a sense of sleep to the baby.  
Kelsey laid her head back, pleased with how it had turned out in the end. There was a loud crash. Probably just the thunder, she thought; however, there came another crash. Kelsey lifted herself up and walked into the wet shield in front of her.  
Tufts of leaves hindered her from getting through, but Kelsey Georgia eventually found herself in the middle of another terrestrial ground in front. In front of her she could hear whimpered cries out in the distance. She tried swinging over to the other side of the branch.  
The cries started to become louder and more audible as she encroached closer and closer. The muffled cries came nearer and nearer. Finally she came close enough to hear the crying of Elisa. She recognized the wet mass of hair in front of her to be Elisa. She was not the same that she had thought of her to be in the previous yesteryear that she had suspected her to be. She had tear stains soaking her. Black liquid bled alond the sides of her body. Kelsey looked in astonishment. Naturally she wanted to approach Elisa—tell her that everything was going to be alright. That there was nothing to be afraid of. However, she held her postue back, unsure if approaching her was really going to be best thing for the sake of everyone else. She looked up to see that there were several other gorillas around her sleeping and struggling to find their sense of rest in the midst of the storm. She turned back to Elisa and sighed. Perhaps there would be another time to settle whatever she was going through…  
“Well, it’s time for breakfast!” Elisa shouted. Several bananas started falling to the ground as Kelsey and Lily tried out the new horde of bananas in front of them. Kelsey cringed now and then whenever she was around the gorillas, but she watched as Elisa communicated with them, and she almost felt bad that she actually covered herself up now and then in order to hide herself from people.  
But then the darkness of the night would descend. Kelsey would swing from branch to branch only to see a crying Elisa sitting all the way at the end of the branch. Words could not describe the utter confusiong that she felt with Elisa. Words could not quite articulate the tears that rained out on Elisa’s cheeks. Those cheeks that looked like they were swelling up with a lot of emotional pain.  
Finally, Kelsey had the courage to walk out and talk to Elisa.  
“Is-is everything ok?” she asked. Elisa turned around and sped off.  
“Wait!” Kelsey cried, but Elisa had already disappeared in the midst of the forest grounds. She could not tell where she was going or what she was possibly going to do in the near future.  
“Kelsey!” Elisa called. Kelsey looked up to see Elisa danging from a tree. She smiled a wide grin across her face; it was almost as if last night had not really existed for the little girl. Kelsey climbed up and let out a loud stretch as she let out a yawn to let in all the air that was coming through her lungs. I wonder if last night really did happen, she questioned in her head.  
She ate her fill right next to Elisa, but Elisa kept her eyes downcast. A couple times she would lift her head to let out a grin, but for the majority of the time she kept her eyes to the ground, almost like she did not want to be looked at.  
Guess I made the wrong choice, Kelsey thought. That night, a vision appeared in Kelsey’s head. She could see her mother in her old self. Tall and strong.  
“Mother,” Kelsey called.  
“Child, she needs you; the girl needs you,” her mother called. Kelsey wanted to shout “what?” but her mother had already wandered away from the place. It was now nothing but the place of rain that she could hear in the middle of the forest. The patter of rain hitting down on the leaves of the forest.  
“Great, now what am I supposed to do?” Kelsey asked. She turned around from where she was standing and saw that Elisa was no longer there.


	24. Chapter 24

Her hair soaked with water. Kelsey looked around her. Her eyes searched for Elisa, but then she realized just how small she was in comparison to everyone else. She was really nothing more than a small insignificance to the rest of the natural world.   
The next morning, she thought about asking if any of the gorillas had seen Elisa; nothing more than the simple talking and grasping aroused in their speech. Standing up on her feet, she turned from the apes and headed away from the other apes.   
That night, it was her turn to endure through a sleepless night.   
***  
Swinging through the vines, Kelsey looked through the far-out receses in order to find Elisa. Splatters of rain blinded her. Finally, she found the young girl fallen in front of the ground. Her face squashed in the middle of the debris. Her brunette hair lay blown-out in all directions. It reminded Kelsey of one of those hair salons that she used to go to with her mother. Elisa lifted her face from the ground, her mouth caked with mud. Tears started flowing down her face.  
“Elisa, whats wrong?” Kelsey asked. She sat criss-cross apple sauce in front of her new friend. Elisa turned away, her face looking at the dirt in front of her. The wind soared through the strands of their hair. Chills ran through the arms of both girls, causing them to individually shiver. Elisa turned her head and faced Kelsey. The use of no eye-contact was not going to make anything change.  
“Kelsey, I don’t feel like I belong…”  
“Well, of course, you don’t. I mean, they’re all gorillas.”  
“What I mean is that this is the only family I have ever known throughout my life,” Elisa said. “Without them, I will never have another home that I could go to.” She slammed her hands on the ground, bursts of mud ascended into the air.  
“I mean, do you ever feel like you don’t belong?” Elisa asked. Kelsey paused and thought of all the times that she had been abused by her own father. However, the memories would not come out. I can trust her; there is nothing that I can hide from her, she thought.   
Elisa bowed her head and closed her eyes as if her thoughts would not compute within her. “Maybe it’s just me. I’m the only girl—or human being for that matter—that feels like they don’t belong in this world.”  
“Don’t say that—“  
“Shut up! I hate it when you say things like that to me! I hate it when people in general say shit like that to me!” Elisa breathed, panicking like every gasp of air shot through her body and came back again.   
“I never say those—“ Kelsey began. Then she retracted the words. Had she just begun to think she had sounded like her mother.  
“I want to remain with the gorillas, but I don’t want them thinking I am unsafe in any way. I don’t want them thinking that I’m going to hurt them or something like that.”  
“How do you know the gorillas will think you’ll hurt them?” Kelsey asked, but with this Elisa closed the space between them and placed her finger over her mouth. “They can never know the true extent that humans try to hurt them.” Kelsey nodded before Elisa jumped off the branch. She sighed.  
“How can I ever go back…” Kelsey seemed to hear her whimper.


	25. Chapter 25

“Wait, where are you going?” cried Kelsey as she struggled to catch up to her partner Elisa.  
“I am leaving the jungle,” she said. She walked along the isle of other trees and vines that extended all they way over the forest. The herd of gorillas began moving in the opposite direction.  
“I couldn’t find my place among them; this is why I am glad that I found you,” Elisa said. She touched Kelsey’s hand, and Kelsey started to form a smile over her face. For the first time in her life, she felt relieved. No more having to treck through the wastelands all on her own. She had found somebody that could replace Nancy.  
Lily gazed at the gorillas as they moved onward.  
“I guess this is going to be another adventure,” Kelsey said, but even when she said that, the words refused to leave her mouth completely. Hand in hand, Kelsey and Elisa walked out into the forest grounds. The dense woods and deep undergrowth surrounded them as they walked—all of them watching over them.  
***  
The summer sun blazed with all of its energy.   
Kelsey fainted on the ground.  
“Quick! Must find waterhole!” shouted Elisa. She grabbed a hold of Kelsey’s collar and carried her all the way to the waterhole.   
That is when sh noticed the baby attached to Kelsey’s back.  
“A baby…” Elisa wondered. The baby was unconscious. Unmoving in her very movement. She placed her hand over the baby’s heart.  
***  
“Kelsey, please treat Brian with some respect!”  
“But Mommy! He is really creeping me out with what he’s doing to me!” Kelsey’s eyes gazed around the room as she realized she was back inside of her mother’s kitchen. Pots and pans stacked up on top of the stove. A sifting aroma filled into Kelsey’s nose. She smacked her lips.  
“Peanut…Peanut butter cookies.”  
“Your favorite,” her mother commented as she made her way to the oven. It took some time for Kelsey’s brain to register that she was in the middle of her six year-old body. How did I get here? She thought.  
“Now Kelsey, could you please apologize to Brian with what you did,” Kelsey’s mother asked. Here Kelsey knew what she did next. You stupid boy! She would shout and knock him over the head, which would result in her mother smacking her across the head.  
“Sorry I got upset at you,” Kelsey said. The boy continued keeping his eyes straight at the ground—almost as if he thought hard about something. For once, Kelsey wondered what thoughts lurked within the mind of this boy. What was it he was trying to hide from her? It was something she had never considered before in her own life….  
In the comfort of her own home, when her father was not home, the family finally enjoyed a simpler piece of mind.  
“Kelsey, Kelsey!” called Elisa. Kelsey jumped out of her thoughts to see a wreathing Lily flailing on the ground.   
Kelsey grabbed hold of her sister. “I think she is undergoing a heavy amount of heat exposure!” cried Kelsey. Elisa began jumping up and down.  
“I know there is an herb that is very useful in healing people from heat exposure. At least it worked for the gorillas!” Elisa said as she dashed up the tree. Kelsey could not believe that her sister was dying at this point. She could not wrap her mind around the fact that Elisa would ever abandon her. Kelsey grabbed the baby and raced through the jungle.  
Have to find some kind of basin that is cold enough to wash her down, she thought. Her feet raced through the forest floor. Her mind raced to the point she did not know where she was going as she journeyed through the thick trees and undergrowth in front of her.  
The baby breathed, struggling to keep awake as she continued wreathing in the arms of Kelsey. Kelsey’s heart raced with panic. Was there no such thing as a river basin where she could just wash the baby down?  
Little Lily breathed her final breath. Her heart stopped beating. Her body came to a steady stop as if she was nothing but a mechanical robot.  
“Lily?! Hang on! Hang on!” she cried. Kelsey looked around her, attempting to search out something that could cool her down and return life to her.  
For once, the dense jungle worked against her.


	26. Chapter 26

Angry tears streamed down Kelsey’s face. Elisa—her friend Elisa—just when she was beginning to think she had just made a brand new friend. She had decided at the last minute to betray her. Kelsey stamped a foot in the middle of the ground. She felt like screaming into the heavens over the despicable shit that the holy of holies had decided to put her through. She had had enough of putting up with crap like this. A single drop of water fell from the sky. Kelsey shut her eyes. I know what is coming she thought. Several more drops started falling from the sky. Soon the pattering increased by a barrage of water coming down onto the ground. She sat very still and cradled herself. How very sappy of herself to go through something like this. Yes, how very sappy indeed.  
A clap of thunder surged forward. Kelsey rolled on the ground and started thinking about how much of a loser she was. All she did was sit around at home watching her father beat her mother while she did nothing. Of course, that was not the actual reality behind all of that, but that was how it certainly felt.  
“There is a difference between feelings and reality,” a voice inside of her told her. Kelsey only cradled herself harder inside her bosom.   
She sniffled. A stream of mucus started falling out of her nose. I thought I could be so much, and now here I am struggling to truly find a sense of belonging in the crap-ridden world I am in. She hated herself from now on. She looked to the sharp needle of the tree branch. If she could throw herself onto that trunk, she might be able to take her own life. She lifted herself from the ground. A crazy stream of thoughts entered into her head. It was all she could think about.   
“What the fuck are you thinking?” she asked herself as she set herself down again. Of course I am not goijng to die. She thought of the voice inside her head. The more she thought about it, the dimples on her forehead began to wrinkle. What am I doing here? The more the questions reigned inside her head, the more she felt like crushing something. Maybe breaking something if she really had the chance to do so. She just had to stop moving. Had to stop moving right now…  
Kelsey lifted herself from the ground and hid underneath a leaf in the corner. A leaf was sheltering her from the storm.  
***  
A stream of sunlight struck her over the face. Kelsey lifted herself up and squinted her eyes. She could not tell where she was or in what domain she was supposed to be in.  
Why is it that I never know?! She thought to herself. She got up and surveyed the area around her. It was time to shape a new beginning. Time to form a new future.  
And what could she really do with a bunch of trees surrounding her.  
***  
What happened next could’ve made her swear that it all had been just a dream. The hefty arms wrapped around her waist.  
No, this couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be the real thing.   
Alas, her helpless body carried aboard the ship. A hissing sound whizzing in her ears.  
Then all pitch black.


	27. Chapter 27

A small glint of light entered into her pupils.  
No…I can’t be where I think I am…  
She sat up. Her eyes gradually registered what she saw around her. White walls. Men and women in white overcoats.  
“No! Ma’m please sit back down! You have gone through a serious episode of dehydration!” Kelsey felt a tube snag against her, forcing her back down on the bed. Panic raced through her body. Her hair dangled over the side of her bed. The noisy facility filled with people. A rhythmic beeping sound by the side of her bed.  
A warm touch.  
“Shhhh, it is ok,” said one of the nurses. Behind her surgical mask, Kelsey could see the smile—how long it had been since she had seen that smile.   
Gradually her eyes fell into a deep sleep. Safe. Secure. Her nerves calmed.  
***  
“Ma’m, ma’m, it is ok; your mother is on her way.”  
My mother. Kelsey groaned as she shifted her body.  
“Ma’m, please do not move around too much. It is more like we will put her down close to your house.” Kelsey was too tired to get angry. She could feel the helicopter descending from the sky. My old house, she thought. More and more gradually, she could see a young woman come into view. Her hair blew in the wind below me, yet her eyes gave way no sign of anger or madness within them.  
Kelsey’s eyes met her mother’s after such a long time of fleeing. After all those years of fleeing, how could she ever bring herself to come back?   
Her mother’s eyes bled into her’s. A sense of punishment fell on top of Kelsey. All these many years she had tried so hard to become her own person, and here it ended right in front of where she had started.  
Her mother let loose a scowling face of frustration, but underneath that anger, Kelsey thought she could see an ounce of benevolence in those eyes.  
Silence pierced through them in the time that they stood in front of one another.  
***  
“If only there was a moment like that with your father,” she said to herself. Her mother led her back inside of the house. She thanked the officer and headed in.  
“Your father has left the house in case you were wondering,” her mother said. Kelsey didn’t ask why. She figured that she already knew in the long run.  
“However, I will say that he did leave you with this note,” Kelsey’s mother lifted up a piece of paper sitting on the kitchen tab;e. Kelsey’s eyes glossed over the many scribbles on the paper.   
“He had to rewrite it several times,” Kelsey’s mother said. Her eyes turned away from Kelsey  
“Mom, about Lily…” But her mother held up another hand. None of “that was very irresponsible of you” or “see what happens when you run off with your baby sister like that.”  
She broke down crying, and that was when Kelsey realized the same frail woman was still hidden deep inside of her mother. Much of her had been recovered; however, the deep-seated pain still continued to persist.  
***  
Dear Kelsey and Lily,  
I just wanted to say I am so sorry about what happened. Or should I say I am so sorry for being an asshole of a father. I got a little bit mixed up in the process of the ideas that were coming into my head. Stuff like the white supremacy and the patriarchy. I never really understood that shit.   
You probably won’t forgive me just like that. After all that I have done to you, your mother, and Lily, I bet you many not even want to read the rest of this letter. Please understand that I am doing my best to be a changed man. The brutal man that you remember no longer exists. I am more respectful towards women and-  
Kelsey stopped there. Her hands wanted to tear the letter to shreds and stare at the wall of her room for the rest of the day. Her arms crossed. I’m tired of all this, she thought.   
Lily’s funeral would be approaching. The girl was only two years old and I killed her while trying to reach my own selfish ambition, she thought. She smiled and started laughing at how silly that sounded. Two year old died because 15-year old wanted to figure out her own place in the rest of the world. Truly a magnificent sort of story indeed.


	28. Chapter 28

The funeral proceeded as usual. Kelsey’s head was too deep in thought to really register a single word that she said about Lily. Suddenly she no longer respected her mother, or had she ever respected her mother? Without her, she would have been nothing more than a simple wimp struggling under the pressure of her husband. But her anger started to decay. What was really the point?  
There was no body at this funderal. Lily had died. So what? She had died a very far away land, and Kelsey had been the only one who had witnessed it. No, change that. She was not the only one that had witnessed it. Elisa had witnessed it too. Her hand wreathed at the thought of Elisa.  
But no, silence Kelsey. That is enough anger for you today.   
In silence she stood at the front of the microphone, preparing to speak.  
All that came out was a gush of tears. A human being that was no longer able to maintain her composure.  
***  
I hate him. I hate him. The thought screamed in Kelsey’s head as she walked home that day.   
“So we are back to where we last left off, hmmm?” her mother asked. “Perhaps your own self-esteem has really taken a sad drft? Or do you no longer have the composure you had before?”  
“I don’t understand what you are saying!” Kelsey shouted to her mother. “Stop acting like everything is ok! Not everything is ok! It’s just—“ She sank to the ground. Her mother paused. Usually what she would have done if she was younger was yank Kelsey, tell her to get up, and keep moving, but today she stopped in her tracks.   
“What was the point of me fleeing?! I don’t understand if nothing at all was accomplished?!” she shouted in her mother’s face. Maybe this was all that she needed. To scream at somebody else. To come back to the reality she had forgotten.   
Her mother did not say a word. Kelsey lay on the ground just breathing.  
***  
She stood in the middle of the space station. The stars gathered together in an aimless unison. A dark aura floated to the center of the arena. Kelsey shivered in the cold of the emptiness of space.  
“Do you need a chill pill little one?” a voice said. Gradually it started to take shape.  
“Go away! Do you think I really am the weaker sex?” Kelsey asked as she got to her feet. “I recognize your voice to be the man that I hate! If you just want to stay where you are a nd cry, be my guest! I’ve shed quite enough tears today!”  
The figure turned away. Kelsey never turned the other way; however, a part of her told her that she should…  
“You have grown up far more than I had ever imagined that you would,” her father said before he disappeared.  
“And I thought this would end in a fight…” Kelsey said to herself. She looked down at her fists and sighed. Guess I am going to have to wait until next time…  
Kelsey gasped as she sprang up in her bed. She shook her head and dismounted off as if nothing in particular had really happened. After washing up, she made her way downstairs where she found her mother sitting alone at the table. Strips of bacon and two buttered toasts were in front of her.  
They ate quietly, neither one of them making a sound. In her own discreetness, Kelsey marveled at the young woman that her mother had become. Her hair was straight and no longer ruffled. Kelsey thought of her mother’s hair as she bit into the butter on her bread. She could not help but see how erect her chin seemed. The perfume that covered her body.  
Yet there was an emptiness that covered her body. Scars that had been left behind. Nothing was completely healed.  
***  
Another day had just come cross in the following months that had followed. Summer had turned to autumn. Kelsey stepped out into the autumn leaves. In the distance beyond the setting sun, she swore that she saw a car coming up the driveway. One that she felt she had seen long ago as well as very close-up before. The red sudan she had driven in the past.  
“Want a ride?” the young black woman with braids asked as she stopped the car in front of the house. Kelsey smiled when she saw the person inside. Long black braids, tattoos covering the outer shell of her body.  
“I can’t leave here I am afraid,” Kelsey said.   
“Well, what if it was only for an hour?”  
“I really can’t,” Kelsey turned back to the house she had belonged in. Her velvet hair flowed in the direction that Nancy passed. Perhaps she was afraid that she no longer liked her.  
She returned to pulling up the weeds as she had done so before. She turned her head to see her mother had come back in picking out the weeds.  
“Do you think that all our troubles can really be blamed on one person?” Kelsey asked. Her mother paused before she answered the question.   
“You know, I’m not really sure about that.”  
“So you don’t think it is fair if I just weigh down all the troubles I had growing up on Dad?”  
“Well, I never said that…”  
This time Kelsey did not push her mother too hard.   
“It is ultimately up to your own decision,” her mother replied, hoping to possibly give her daughter a better answer. “Or it would depend on the situation.”  
“So like in my case, it isn’t fair that I blame it all on Dad?”  
“I never said there was a right or wrong answer.”


	29. Chapter 29

Kelsey stepped into the darkness of her room. The lack of light crept over her like the crawling spider threatening to pierce its venom into her skin. She sighed as she looked out the window of the house. The leaves rustled against the panes of the house. The tree branches shook as the wind swept through them. She pressed her hand up against the window pane, almost like there was a strong desire for her to escape once more and experience the world for herself again; however, she knew that such was not a viable option. In the midst she could see several lights coming in the distance of the night. The two moving lights came closer and closer like two eyes nearing towards its target.  
And Kelsey couldn’t help but smile. Her escape had finally come.  
***  
Kelsey rushed down the stairs, her heart pulsing with energy. Flinging the door open, she winced as the lights started to get brighter and brighter in the middle of her face.  
“Nancy?”  
“Yep! Here to take you home! Did you really think I was going to abandon you that easily?” With a smile, Kelsey hopped into the red sudan. Before her mother could really do anything, Nancy had already driven off with her baby.  
“Open up the windows. It’ll really make you feel like you are a part of a whole new world!” Nancy exclaimed, and Kelsey opened the window to see a rush of wind flood into her breasts. A pushing guise of the wind unlocked every cage door that had kept her inside. She no longer had any responsibilities at home. The cold wind travelled through her nostrils, cooling the burning heat traveling up her spine. The dark woods in front of her sped as if they were the rushing antelope struggling to catch up with the car. She smiled at Nancy.  
“What are we doing?”  
“Why, fleeing the country of course!” Nancy yelled as they travelled through the brink of time into the depths of the night.


End file.
